glenn-rhee-pizzaboy:

geothebio:

geothebio:

a very intimidating middle class family is staring me down in panera bread because i put mac and cheese on my baguette

update: i told them that staring is rude and that i would eat anything on this baguette including their small child

11:29 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 37076

(Source: bert-macklen-fbi)

11:23 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 225406
TW DOMESTIC ABUSE ——

When [an abusive man] tells me that he became abusive because he lost control of himself, I ask him why he didn’t do something even worse. For example, I might say, “You called her a fucking whore, you grabbed the phone out of her hand and whipped it across the room, and then you gave her a shove and she fell down. There she was at your feet where it would have been easy to kick her in the head. Now, you have just finished telling me that you were ‘totally out of control’ at that time, but you didn’t kick her. What stopped you?” And the client can always give me a reason. Here are some common explanations:

"I wouldn’t want to cause her a serious injury."
“I realized one of the children was watching.”
“I was afraid someone would call the police.”
“I could kill her if I did that.”
“The fight was getting loud, and I was afraid the neighbors would hear.”

And the most frequent response of all:

"Jesus, I wouldn’t do that. I would never do something like that to her.”

The response that I almost never heard — I remember hearing it twice in the fifteen years — was: “I don’t know.”

These ready answers strip the cover off of my clients’ loss of control excuse. While a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind maintains awareness of a number of questions: “Am I doing something that other people could find out about, so it could make me look bad? Am I doing anything that could get me in legal trouble? Could I get hurt myself? Am I doing anything that I myself consider too cruel, gross, or violent?”

A critical insight seeped into me from working with my first few dozen clients: An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. I can’t remember a client ever having said to me: “There’s no way I can defend what I did. It was just totally wrong.” He invariably has a reason that he considers good enough. In short, an abuser’s core problem is that he has a distorted sense of right and wrong.

I sometimes ask my clients the following question: “How many of you have ever felt angry enough at youer mother to get the urge to call her a bitch?” Typically half or more of the group members raise their hands. Then I ask, “How many of you have ever acted on that urge?” All the hands fly down, and the men cast appalled gazes on me, as if I had just asked whether they sell drugs outside elementary schools. So then I ask, “Well, why haven’t you?” The same answer shoots out from the men each time I do this exercise: “But you can’t treat your mother like that, no matter how angry you are! You just don’t do that!”

The unspoken remainder of this statement, which we can fill in for my clients, is: “But you can treat your wife or girlfriend like that, as long as you have a good enough reason. That’s different.” In other words, the abuser’s problem lies above all in his belief that controlling or abusing his female partner is justifiable….

Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via seebster)

THIS BOOK SAVED MY LIFE AND I CANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH
EVERYONE ON EARTH SHOULD READ THIS *except abusers

(via theinconstantones)

If anyone needs a PDF or EPUB copy of this book hit me up.

(via notcisjustwoman)


11:07 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 48504
Bjork on her age (via lullabyforghosts)

(Source: bjorkswig)


10:41 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 8670

archatlas:

Fagerborg Kindergarden Reiulf Ramstad Architects

10:41 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 566

 

(Source: calithepug)

11:26 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 218742

(Source: getbusyliving-)

  11:20 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 164938

(Source: wilburwhateley)

  11:18 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 13910
notcisjustwoman:

menulies:

notcisjustwoman:

I need to train my birds to do this.

A man being eaten alive is “#funny”, but god forbid someone says something that will offend you.

Yes, a giant parrot eating a man for making a misogynist joke is extremely funny, but even funnier is you getting butthurt over it.

this ^

notcisjustwoman:

menulies:

notcisjustwoman:

I need to train my birds to do this.

A man being eaten alive is “#funny”, but god forbid someone says something that will offend you.

Yes, a giant parrot eating a man for making a misogynist joke is extremely funny, but even funnier is you getting butthurt over it.

this ^

11:12 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 348
11:09 pm, reblogged  by razzledazzleyou 15479